There was a deep sadness in the city of Mumbai some years ago as people woke to read about a spurned twenty two year old lover who drove two thousand two hundred kilometres in his Honda Civic, reached the house of his former lover kills her mother and uncle, waits for her to return, and then kills himself when she locked the door from outside finding him inside her house.
The papers showed families breaking down as they claim their loved ones from city morgue, “He could not have done such a crime!” sobs the father of the boy, “he was a successful businessman and a good son!”
Maybe he wasn’t taught to lose. He never knew to accept rejection!
And how important it is to reach our children to learn to lose graciously.
I love repeating the story of Jim, the little boy who wanted to get into the school play.
“Ma,” he told his mother one morning, “I’m gonna practice hard to get into the school play!”
“I’ll help you son!” said his mother and worked hard with him on diction and articulation, but realized that her son still felt shy when he went in front of an audience which was generally his papa and younger sister.
“Jim,’ she told her little son, a day before the audition, “life is a game son, and whether you win or lose you get a chance to play again!”
“Sure mom!” said Jim and next day was off to give his best.
His mother went that evening to his school as she usually did and waited for Jim to come through the school gates. He usually bounded out and ran to her as children generally do, relieved to get out, but this time when the bell rang she found no sign of him.
She waited with a heavy heart and finally found him dragging his feet walking towards her.
Summoning all her inner strength she asked, “What happened Jim?”
“I lost ma!”
“Jim!” she shouted twirling him around, “Jim, you’ve been chosen to clap and cheer!”
Jim looked at his mother as if she was crazy and then his little face broke into a grin, and a chuckle came from within to see his mother jumping about, “Yes mother!” he shouted, “I’ve been chosen to clap and cheer!”
Ah! That was some mother wasn’t she?
Dear child I whispered to my lil’ one last night,
You can be winner y’ know in every big fight!
By learning to lose, you’ ve chosen to choose
Of being a winner, e’en if you happen to lose..!